I'll Tell You all About It
by green-eyed-mischief
Summary: Everything was so bright. Everything was so cheerful. Really, their surroundings shouldn't be this happy. After all, the world lost one of its most impeccably loved hero. Birdflash. Mentions of past spitfire. Rated M just to be safe


A/N: So this is a one-shot that I cooked up after a friend suggested a songfic for my other work. Instead of writing for the other one, I came up with this because I was previously listening to See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and it sort-of got stuck in my brain. That is a beautiful song, by the way. Sad, but beautiful. I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors in advance.

Disclaimer: I wish I own the characters of Wally West, Dick Grayson and the YJ team, but too bad, I don't. I also wish that I was the one who wrote and own the rights to See You Again, but I'm not that talented. :3 Enjoy!

* * *

Everything was so bright. Everything was so cheery. Really, their surroundings shouldn't be this _happy_. After all, the world lost one of its most impeccably loving hero.

He stood there under the stark brilliance of the sun. The grass under his feet was so lush and beautiful. It's like they're happy and reaching out to the sun above.

So alive.

It seems like a long time ago when he was staring at a color not that different from the green of the grass. They, too, looked lush. They, too, were beautiful. They, too, were so happy, sparkling with unrestricted mirth. They, too, were _alive_.

He took a sharp intake of breath as the memories came rushing in. ' _No, no, no!'_ he thought.

'—(0_o)—'

Not fast enough.

" _Come on, Wall-man. You can do better than that." (Run faster, damn it!)_

Not fast enough.

" _Bart, we have to slow down…" (Faster. RUN FASTER!)_

Not fast enough.

" _It's no good, Barry… Just tell them.. okay?"_

 _ **Not fast enough.**_

NO.

'—(0_o)—'

It's not his fault. It was never his fault. It's **his**.

He thinks of the box that was lowered down a while ago. The empty wooden box that's more for a show than closure. With his family and loved ones, there will never be closure, at least not in a long while.

The string of guests had thinned considerably during the past hour as he continued to stand by the sidelines. When the last of them left and only the family remained, he, along with the team, stepped forward from the shadows and approached the freshly dug earth on heavy feet.

The team stood there, paying their respect, and one by one, they, too, had left. He was left there with _his_ family, staring at the grave, lost in his own world. He didn't even notice the gentle squeezes and pats

on his shoulder that _his_ family gave him. Nor the quiet murmurs of farewells directed to him. Nor the silent tears that had started to stream down his cheeks.

His fault. All of it was his.

He started to sing softly, not caring if someone was listening or if someone was nearby. Not caring of the dampness on his cheek. Not caring of his choked up voice. His senses were only centered on the hollowness inside of him.

Empty. Void.

"It's been a long day without you my friend  
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"

He suppressed a sob and forced himself to breathe.

"We've come a long way from where we began  
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
When I see you again"

He sang the next part on his own solemn, made up melody.

"Who knew all the planes we flew  
Good things we've been through  
That I'll be standing right here  
Talking to you about another path"

He clearly remembers the first time they met. He was such a loud-mouth and cheerful kid.

Simple. Innocent.

Not like him, who was tainted by the darkness of Gotham and his own past. All of it seemed so long ago. When he offered his hand for a hand shake, stark against the gloom of his surroundings, he hesitated for a bit. Then the idiot did some sort of a taboo for superheroes (or maybe just the Batclan); he said, "I'm Kid Flash. But you can call me Wally." His grin that he gave him could rival the Cheshire cat's and it was so contagious, he found his lips were also stretched in a similar manner. He grasped the proffered hand and shook it.

"I'm Robin. Nice to meet you."

"I know we loved to hit the road and laugh  
But something told me that it wouldn't last  
Had to switch up look at things different see the bigger picture  
Those were the days hard work forever pays now I see you in a better place"

Their friendship was like no other. They shared secrets, whined to one another, played video games together. Eventually, Robin even shared his identity to the redhead, along with a silent plea of promise to not tell the others of this piece of information, and to keep Batman from knowing that _he knows the probably most guarded secret of the Batclan._ Wally, for his part, was a true to his promise. Even the Batman part of it. It was months before Batman put together the puzzle of this new piece of information.

When Batman found out though, life just became asterous for the two, after a long talk about responsibility and all that jazz. Then Wally was allowed into the Manor.

"How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?  
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side  
And now you gonna be with me for the last ride"

When the team was formed, both of them were so happy. Not only were they able to meet new sidekicks—err, partners, they also managed to rescue and free Superboy from the clutches of Cadmus. Not long after, their friendship bloomed into something more; they became a family.

"It's been a long day without you my friend  
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
We've come a long way from where we began  
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
when I see you again"

The words, the feelings, were far too suppressed for a very long time. But what could he do? Life had caught up to him. Conflicting feelings caught up to him.

No. Scratch those.

 _He's just a coward._

A second chance was offered to him, Damn it! And he didn't take it. All because he was a god damn coward.

 _I should've told him._

"First you both go out your way  
And the vibe is feeling strong and what's  
Small turn to a friendship, a friendship  
Turn into a bond and that bond will never  
Be broken and the love will never get lost"

He really couldn't pinpoint when he had started feeling these emotions. He just realized it when the redhead told him that he and Artemis were dating. His reply back then was a cackle and a ' _Thought so! Seriously dude, the UST was so stretched; it's a miracle you didn't snap before this!"_

The following grin felt so fake on his lips, _it fucking hurt_. He wished back then that Wally won't notice. It must have been believable because the redhead's subsequent smile was his patented Cheshire cat grin. He contented himself with just being a good friend.

"And when brotherhood come first then the line  
Will never be crossed established it on our own  
When that line had to be drawn and that line is what  
We reach so remember me when I'm gone"

He contented himself with just being a good friend. For a good reason too. Their friendship was so important to him that he was afraid of succumbing to his feelings and desires. He was afraid of rejection, actually; of having to be awkward with each other when that happens; of consequently drifting apart; of losing his best friend, his first love. He loved him; deeply so.

So he contented himself with being a good friend and buried his feelings deep within his heart. What does it matter now, anyway? They eventually drifted apart. Their friendship wasn't as close as it was before.

"How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?  
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side  
And now you gonna be with me for the last ride"

He choked up again. He couldn't continue. He can't. His silent tears turned to full out sobbing.

He remembered when they broke up. Artemis couldn't give up the superhero life. Wally had been all into quiet life of safety, of security.

All of it seemed as if it happened on the distant past. He shouldn't have been happy. He shouldn't have been hopeful. _But damn him if it never felt so good._ He felt guilty though. He should have been sad. So instead, he acted all stoic, because he couldn't act _so fucking sad._

No, he couldn't.

His heart was too busy singing out in joy and hope. _It was wrong; too wrong._

But what could he do? He was foolishly in love with that idiot.

He forced himself to sing next part. He needed to finish the song. It's the least he could do; he'll go crazy if he didn't let it all out.

"So let the light guide your way  
Hold every memory as you go  
And every road you take will always lead you home" 

'—(0_o)—'

His mind was on a constant loop.

 _Faster, faster, faster…_

A mantra that he kept repeating.

Faster.

His mind was empty except for that word.

Faster!

Why was he running again? What's the point? He couldn't go any faster than this.

FASTER!

'—(0_o)—'

Singing those three lines left him sobbing uncontrollably. He fell to his knees in front of the empty grave. There was never a body to be buried; all of him was hauled brutally from this world. He clawed at the dirt, and when that seemed to be not enough, he lifted his head and screamed; screamed to the sky; screamed to the gods beyond that abandoned him; screamed until his throat was raw; screamed—because he had lost everything all over again.

And when his voice was hoarse and it still wasn't enough, he turned to the dirt and punched viciously over and over again. His knuckles struck a stray stone, leaving them bloody and probably broken. He could care less, because physical pain doesn't compare, would never compare, to the hollowness he felt inside. That simple pain would not compare to the pain _he_ probably felt when he disappeared.

This small discomfort could never compare to _his_ sacrifice.

When he felt weak after all the punching and screaming, he sunk further into the ground and curled up into a ball. His tear-stained face got soiled further by the dirt. He could care less.

His carefully pressed suit, he was sure, also got dirty. Alfred would probably be disappointed. But right now, he could care less. He got time to worry about that later.

He felt his pocket for that something that the hero had left to his care. He brought it out and stared at the object. A bitter smile bloomed from his lips as tears continued to run down his face.

With his voice raw and small, and his gaze steady on the object, hands clutching solidly to it like the red eyepiece might vanish just like its owner, he continued his on with his eulogy.

"It's been a long day without you my friend  
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
We've come a long way from where we began  
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
When I see you again"

'—(0_o)—'

He heard a voice. It was beautiful. It was the only difference that he encountered after he entered this desolate, stark-white place. What was he doing here again?

He could not remember. He remembered though that he was supposed to run faster. But he couldn't. He was too slow.

He heard it again. It was singing. And it was beautiful. It was coaxing him to stop and just listen. So he did the only logical thing for him then and stopped. Or that he tried to.

Panic rose in his chest as he failed to even slow down. The mantra of 'faster' got substituted with 'fuckfuckfuck. Brake, damn it!'

In the haze of panic, snippets of the past began to filter through his mind. He started to remember his own name, _Wally._ And he did not even thought of that, which was kind of embarrassing. Then he remembered his parents, and that he was Kid Flash, one of the fastest beings alive. He remembered his Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. He also remembered why he was running.

The chrysalis. The Light. Yeah. He was out saving the world.

Then he remembered the team; Conner, M'gann, Kaldur, Zatanna, Bart, Jaime, Artemis – he remembered their fight too – Tim, the new Robin, seeing as Nightwing—

Dick.

Oh god, _Dick._

He can't stop now, he thought. He had to get back, he has to –

He was snapped out of his panicked thoughts when he heard the voice break in the saddest way possible. It had sent his heart clenching painfully. His vision blurred and he realized, there were tears in his eyes. He tried to suppress them and almost succeeded when the voice sang again. Now he noticed how sad the voice was, how the words were despairingly uttered and sung, how desperate it sounded for some reprieve of the ache present there.

There was also a nagging thought at the back of his mind that tells him he knew this voice; that he had heard it somewhere before. He racked his mind for a possible answer but came up empty.

He heard the sad song again and this time, it had sparked a memory from his past.

He had definitely heard that voice before. Only, it was a little more argute back then. He had heard it once, by accident. He had heard it when he was strolling along the corridor near the gym in Mount Justice when he was younger. He had heard someone singing, so beautifully, like a songbird. He inched closer to the slightly ajar door of the gym and took a peek. There, perched on the tallest high bar, seemingly like a bird was—

" _Dick."_

Dick, his best friend. Someone special. Someone he—

Loves.

It hit him. Hard. It hit him like when he was young, when his powers were newly acquired, and he ran straight into a wall, and everything was painful.

Yes, everything was painful, except now it was not something physical that his super metabolism could heal. It was something intangible. It was something _more._

And god does it hurt like hell. He missed him. He wants to see him. He wants to hold him, kiss him senseless, and tell him he loves him. Heck, he'll shout to the whole damn world that he is in love with one Dick Grayson, and that he will love him _forever_. Damn all those people that would say otherwise.

His heart was overflowing with emotions, it felt like it might burst.

 _This won't do_ , he thought. _I am never gonna be trapped in this endless cycle. I need to see Dick. I need to tell him…_

He remembered something that his uncle had told him when he was younger, when he had gotten frustrated for being too slow.

" _I'll tell you a little secret. If you ever find yourself unable to go faster or unable to slow down, pushing yourself to just go faster or slower rarely helps. The key to controlling your speed is to just think of your destination, or something that will anchor you to reality. Well, that was just based on my experience but it always helped me to think about Iris when I was too slow or when I went too fast."_

He focused his mind then to that singing voice. He cleared his mind of his previous mantras and other memories, and focused his mind to just a single one.

 _Baby blue eyes that were so expressive and beautiful. Hair as dark as the night itself, but as soft as cotton._

He felt his body move faster, the voice that he chases seeming like it was stuck in a loop.

 _Cackles so disconcerting that made criminals flee, yet sounded like music to his ears (since when did he thought of his creepy laughs like that? Love, it makes one weird)._

Faster and faster his body had gone, his previous limits left in the dust.

 _Soft smile and gleeful grins, reserved only for him._

He heard the song beginning to dwindle and his mind screamed, _No!_

 _Dick…_

He heard the song become slower, with long pauses in between words.

 _Dick._

He ran faster, pushing against his new limits, with a certain bird in his mind. He closed his eyes, focusing on the thought of Dick, following the sound of his voice. He knew that he will never get lost as long as he followed that soft voice. _I should probably start calling him a songbird…_

 _Dick!_

When I see you…

 **Dick!**

When I see you again…

 _I love you… Dick…_

'—(0_o)—'

 _It was all his fault._

He sang the song, stuck on the last part, like a record stuck forever in a loop. For some reason, he can't seem to let it end yet. He felt that if he ended the song, then all would be final. That everything is real. For days now, Dick had been living his life constantly in denial.

 _HIS fault… If he had just stopped pestering Wally to come back form retirement.._

He couldn't deal. He didn't want to think that Wally's… _dead._

"It's been a long day without you my friend  
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
We've come a long way from where we began  
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again  
When I see you again"

His eyes were dry for a while now. He continued to repeat that same verse, over and over again, while he remained curled up on the ground, staring at Kid Flash's old goggles.

Before the speedster retired, the bird gave a new of pair of upgraded goggles to him as a birthday gift. Said redhead was so thrilled back then. The speedster then swapped the new ones in place, the older goggles being shoved to the bird's hands.

" _Keep it. It will serve as a reminder that you are the bestest best friend ever in the whole world!"_

" _Whatever, Kid Dork,"_ he replied back then, furiously fighting the blush that was creeping up his face.

"…I will tell you all about it—" his voice broke again and let out a sob and a shuddering breath.

"—when I see you again…"

He let the song fade then. The eyes that he thought was long dry welled up again with tears. He brought the goggles to his mouth and gently kissed it. He curled himself tighter into a ball, as if the action would protect him from all the pains of the world. He closed his eyes and let himself breakdown. He'd probably receive a hell of a lecture from Bruce later, but whatever. He was allowed a little bit of a reprieve, didn't he?

 _I love you, Wally. I love you so much, you big idiot._

He was practically oblivious to the world. He didn't notice the sun peeking through the clouds, nor the trees that gently swayed to the rhythm of the breeze, nor the grass, lush and green and _alive_ , nor the change on the intensity of the breeze, nor the footsteps coming his way, nor the birds that was twittering happily away. He was too lost in his world, remembering those green orbs that he loved, full of laughter, full of life—

"So, what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

'—(0_o)—'

Everything was so bright. Everything was so cheery. Really, it's only fitting that their surroundings should be this _happy_. After all, the world just regained one of its most impeccably loved hero.


End file.
